I AM NOT DRESSING FOR THE ‘MALE GAZE’ ANYMORE AND I AM HAPPIER
Turning 40
After having a mini life crisis when I turned 40 last year, I thought: this is it! I am officially a middle-aged woman, (and hopefully not a Karen!). As I am blowing my candles everyone is shouting: Make a wish! Make a wish! I didn’t even have to think twice: my only wish from now on is to make my life easier.
I am no longer offended easily, and I no longer sweat the small stuff.
I am not going to lie, I still see pictures of my old carefree self and I think about all the fun and great times I had, and how nice it was to not have that many responsibilities.
What I also noticed specially in my 20s is something I don’t miss at all: how much my style catered to the male gaze.
Nude Girl on a Panther Skin (1844) by Félix Trutat(1844) shows a reclining nude woman being watched by a disproportionately large male face at the window of her bedroom; the painting “powerfully exemplified[s]” the concept of the male gaze.[1]
What exactly is the “male gaze?
In feminist theory, the male gaze is the act of depicting women and the world in the visual arts and in literature from a masculine, heterosexual perspective that presents and represents women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the heterosexual male viewer.
The ‘male gaze’ is a feminist theory claiming that society is viewed through the eyes of the masculine, heterosexual perspective often seeing women only as sexual objects.
The theory argues women have been conditioned from childhood to dress to please men, for example wearing typically feminine outfits, tight clothing, and short dresses.
Claiming back our power
Lately, a new trend has emerged: women no longer want to dress for anyone else but for themselves. For these women, fashion is a form of self-expression, and yes, clothes need to be functional, but they are also a form of body autonomy.
Fashion can change and shape lives through its personal connection to us all. We all must wear clothes every day and every piece of clothing we buy represents a personal choice. Something has changed, this new Gen Z generation has changed the game in so many positive ways.
As simplistic as it sounds it can be revolutionary. Women who were dressing for the ‘male gaze’ have ditched outfits they think appeal to men in favor of edgy, eye-catching trends, who appear to be as fashion was always intended to be: a work of art.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not judging or slut-shaming anyone if it’s your prerogative to show skin and dress sexy I am happy for you. Maybe feeling sexy in your own body empowers you.
Maybe your most comfortable self is showing your beautiful body and that’s ok. Maybe you like flowy comfortable clothes and that is ok too.
What I am trying to say is that is important that we take back our power as women and fashion is such an important one since it has so much to do with our body autonomy.
I am now much more focused on wearing what feels right for me. I remember I was always yearning for the time I would get home and put on some comfortable clothes. Now, I just wear cozy, enjoyable, and pleasant clothes everywhere I go, and it has been game changing, it should have always been that way!
I am not sacrificing my personal well-being and health for anyone; the only gaze I want to please is the one that looks back at me in the mirror: me, I am catering for myself.
